[Verse 1] [After a couple of glasses](after a couple of glasses) [I crawl from the bay window to the cat's side](I crawl from the bay window to the cat's side) [And admit that my feeling is](and admit that my feeling is) [Probably somewhat wistful](probably somewhat wistful) [Kinda difficult](kinda difficult) [You didn’t come today after all](you didn’t come today after all) [Your to-do was full of other stuff](your to-do was full of other stuff) [On the table, after you](on the table, after you) [Is a stack of quality magazines](is a stack of quality magazines) [Chorus] [They have three good tips](they have three good tips) [How to live a good life](how to live a good life) [How to train calves](how to train calves) [And where fig fits](and where fig fits) [Three good tips](three good tips) [Save your sex life](save your sex life) [Avoid grown roots](avoid grown roots) [And die happy](and die happy) [Die happy](die happy) [Verse 2] [I forgot the cilantro](I forgot the cilantro) [You like it with couscous too](you like it with couscous too) [Probably should have](probably should have) [Cooked then as well](cooked then as well) [When everything was still fine](when everything was still fine) [I tidy up a little tipsy](I tidy up a little tipsy) [Am I supposed to enjoy here alone now](am I supposed to enjoy here alone now) [In the room after you’ve left](in the room after you’ve left) [There’s a lot of time to think](there’s a lot of time to think) [Chorus] [I have three good tips](I have three good tips) [How to live a good life](how to live a good life) [How to train calves](how to train calves) [And where fig fits](and where fig fits) [Three good tips](three good tips) [Save your sex life](save your sex life) [Avoid grown roots](avoid grown roots) [And die happy](and die happy) [Chorus] [I have three good tips](I have three good tips) [How to live a good life](how to live a good life) [How to train calves](how to train calves) [And where fig fits](and where fig fits) [Three good tips](three good tips) [Save your sex life](save your sex life) [Avoid grown roots](avoid grown roots) [And die happy](and die happy) [Die happy](die happy) [Outro] [Die happy](die happy)